Le Caniche
by StormieLikeWeather
Summary: Pure nonsense. Sesshomaru somehow got turned into a toy poodle. Fun! Oneshot!


**Le Caniche**

"What do you mean that over fluffed handbag is Sesshomaru?" Inuyasha was livid. He was beyond livid. Fist clenched, waving in the air. "Just what is going on here!?" His sword jabbed toward the rabidly barking dog in Kagome's arms. "Let it go, and I'll put it out of its misery!"

The puff ball had not stopped trying to rip his leg off since he commented on how cute Rin had gotten recently.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome shouted over the yips, "It's your own fault, quit aggravating him!" Suddenly the tiny white dog leapt free from her arms and landed on Inuyasha's face.

He flung backward, knocking over the giant pot of boiling ramen, agony forced the birds to flee from the overhead trees.

"Do you think we should help him?" Sango murmured, huddled together with Miroku, Shippo, Kagome, and Kirara.

"Are you really in the mood to anger Sesshomaru-sama?" Shippo muttered, eyes glued to the hanyou as he leapt this way and that.

"What harm can he do in that form anyway? Best to let things work themselves out in this case." Miroku winced.

"I can't believe he ruined dinner," Kagome huffed, cleaning up the meal.

By the time the brother's returned, both were missing large patches of hair and fur.

"It's the Bastard all right!" He growled, scowling.

"Woah!" Shippo chuckled, "What happened to you, Inuyasha!? Couldn't take on a tiny little dog?" He rolled onto his side, giggling.

Kagome rubbed her lips together, eyes on the little dog in question. His nose was in the air. A bald spot made a halo right in the middle of his head. "Come here Sesshomaru-sama."

The toy poodle sniffed, a skip to his step as Inuyasha snarled. He hopped into her waiting lap. Making a little circle, he curled against the warmth.

"Wow," Sango murmured, "I never realized Sesshomaru-sama could be as cute as Kirara."

Kirara meowed, shoving her head into Sango's side for attention.

"Oh nothing is as cute as you Kirara." She petted her.

Miroku sobbed, "Not even me?"

"Especially not you, pervert." Sango hissed.

Kagome glanced from the still growling Inuyasha, to the cute little poodle curled up in her lap, and came to a decision. "We are going home."

"Hey, wait a minute!" Inuyasha, stomped his foot, "There ain't no way in Hell I'm gonna let that fuzzy bastard go home with you!"

He moved to grab her arm, but angry blue eyes held him in his place. "Inuyasha, I'll say it if you force me to." She grinned, "We don't want that, now do we?"

"Feh," He crossed his arms and looked away, "Don't come crying back when that asshole eats your damn cat."

Sesshomaru nuzzled into her petting fingers.

"You wouldn't do that, now would you Sesshomaru-sama?" She adjusted her backpack on her shoulder and waved goodbye. As she headed down the path, a tiny poofy head popped up above her shoulder glaring amber eyes at a certain hanyou. An even tinier paw made a slicing motion across his neck, and pointed toward Inuyasha.

"Why I outa!" Inuyasha gnashed his teeth, waving his sword as he charged.

"Sit." Kagome frowned at the poodle in her arms, "And you, you better behave little youkai."

Sesshomaru huffed, but hunkered back down in her arms.

"Alright," She stood beside the well, "I hope this works!" She patted his head, careful of his new bald patch, "Don't be scared." He blinked at her and upturned his delicate nose. Leaping into the time stream, luckily, Sesshomaru was able to tag along in her arms.

By the next afternoon, Kagome had decided luck was fully on their side. She aced a surprise test. Grandpa hadn't once tried to purify Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru hadn't tried to kill anyone, even buyo,...yet.

She took the steps up to the top of the hill by two. Adrenaline pumped through her veins. She opened the door, "Hi Mama, I'm home!" Slipping off her shoes, with a smile on her face, she wondered why her Mother had yet to greet her.

Kagome peered into the kitchen. No one was there.

Souta hollered, "Up here, Kagome!"

A loud hacking sound rang through the silence. Wet gurgly coughing. "What's wrong?!" She dashed up the stairs and into Souta's messy room.

There on the floor laid a disheveled, patchy furred, choking poodle.

"Sesshomaru!" She gasped, "Oh Gods, what happened?!"

"Souta tried to feed him a meatball!" Her Mother shouted, running a wet cloth over Sesshomaru's brow.

A strangled cough left his over stretched mouth.

"How was I supposed to know a Youkai Lord can't eat meatballs!?" Souta shouted, hands in his hair. His brown eyes were wild.

"What are we supposed to do?" Her Mother looked at her expectantly.

She rubbed her lips together and looked down at Sesshomaru's trembling little body, "Maybe we should take him to the vet?"

"Here!" Mrs. Higurashi shoved Sesshomaru into the vet receptionist's arms, "Hurry, fix my dog!"

With big brown eyes, the receptionist took Sesshomaru, "O..okay." She ran toward the back, "Doctor! This dog needs fixed immediately!"

The waiting room was the worst part. Kagome chewed her nails, staring at the door leading to the back rooms. She wasn't sure what was going on with Sesshomaru. He wouldn't die because of a meatball, would he?

Suddenly the door opened. The doctor held Sesshomaru at arms length. The tiny dog snapped his jaws at his just out of reach fingers.

"He's okay!" Mrs. Higurashi put down her prayer beads.

"Sesshomaru-sama!" Kagome ran over to him, grabbing him out of the doctor's arms, "How did you fix him?"

"Well!" The doctor shoved his glasses back up his slender nose, "We started to prep him for a neutering and suddenly he coughed up a meatball. Then he went wild. We don't work on animals that can't control themselves, young lady."

Kagome narrowed her eyes, "Fine. No one asked you to neuter him anyway!"

"What do you think getting fixed means!?" The doctor huffed.

Sesshomaru nearly attacked his face, but Kagome held him tighter in her arms.

She spent the entire ride home, and the rest of the evening apologizing to Sesshomaru. Unfortunately he didn't seem to accept it. The next morning, he wouldn't allow her to leave.

"Sesshomaru-sama!" She tried to shake him loose of her ankle, "Let go! I have to go to school!"

Souta shoved passed her, "Just let Gramps call you in sick, he does it all the time!"

"But I!" She sucked in a deep breath and slowly exhaled, glaring at the poodle attached to her shoe, "Fine." Leaning down, she traded her backpack for the dog, "You're a menace, you know that!"

A weird twist to his lips and she knew for sure he was smirking at her.

She angrily ran her fingers through his soft fur, "I had an idea anyway, to get you back to normal..." The sky was bright blue as she walked them to the main store house of the shrine. All the weird and ancient artifacts would be in this building. "You know," She gave him a pointed glare, "It'd be helpful if you could actually tell me why you're like this."

He yawned, closed his eyes, and pretended to be asleep. She was tempted to shake him to death.

"Ungrateful little...ow!" He nipped her thumb and she dropped him. "Brat!"

A yip was her only reply as he ran around the corner.

She licked the pinpricks of blood from her finger, and flipped through the pages of the record book, frowning, "Why am I even helping you?"

Suddenly a clawed hand pulled the book from her grasp, "It's it obvious? You are a strange Miko."

Her eyes went wide, she peered over at the hand clutching the book she'd had. Smooth creamy skin, sharp claws, a striped wrist. She squeaked, "Sesshomaru-sama! How are you here!" She spun around, "How are you not a poodle!?

He answered with a half shrug, "Some spells are strong against youki, but weak against reiki. A little blood is all that is needed." Turning on his heel, he walked out of the building. Little glimpses of a perfect buttocks peeked through swaying silver hair.

"What the Hell!" She slapped her hands over her eyes, rushing forward, "Sesshomaru! You can't go out there naked!" Her foot caught on a loose floorboard, and she landed with a oomphf!

Her palms caught her fall, but unfortunately they also caught something else. Squeeze. "Oh Gods..."

"Miko..." His brow twitched.

"Sorry!" She scrambled to her feet, wiping her hands on her pants as she stared mortified at the wall. "Just uh...wait here, I'll get you something to wear and then we'll go back to the Feudal Era."

"And so," Kagome gestured to Sesshomaru as she explained to her friends, "Sesshomaru just needed a little bit of Reiki in order to break whatever the spell was. Now everything can go back to normal!"

Inuyasha growled.

"Kagome?" Miroku wondered, giving the oddly thick and revealing pink kimono the Lord of the Western lands was wearing a once over, "Why is Inuyasha so angry?"

"Oh..." Kagome bit her lip, that's probably because it was her bathrobe, "Who really can tell these days?"

"Miko," Sesshomaru petted the plush pink collar, "It's almost like being in your lap again, I shall keep it."

Inuyasha snarled, rushing his older brother, who merely stepped out of the way of each attack. "Fight me, you Prick!"

"Yep, everything's back to normal!" Shippo chuckled.

"Hn." With one punch, Inuyasha went flying into a nearby tree. Sesshomaru peered over at Kagome, a strange glint in his eyes, "Miko, do be careful where you place your hands from now on. Until next time."

Her blue eyes bulged, face instantly beet red. She blinked at his retreating form. The large Hello Kitty patch on his back was striking.

"Kagome," Inuyasha grumbled, "What the Hell was that supposed to mean?"

She shrugged, keeping her cool, "How should I know? He's your Brother."

"Half Brother!"

AN: This is completely because of an inspiring conversation with RTB and VS*.


End file.
